Lessons from the Boys First Big Picture Show

Aviones!

Last Tuesday was a very special day for Ronan and Eli.  They got to go see their very first movie in the theater: Aviones (Planes, dubbed in Spanish :-).  Both boys are huge fans of the movie Cars and McQueen and Mater are a regular topic of play and discussion in our house. These boys are also in love with the concept of planes, actually pretty much anything that can fly or drive is of particular interest to them right now.  Planes in particular are discussed quiet regularly every time Grandpa Tovar, or Daddies, or any of us have a trip to make so they are constant source of fascination and excitement.  When we heard the movie was coming out, despite the fact it would only play in Spanish here, we knew immediately it would be perfect for their first trip to the movie theater.  For a week or so before, John had been playing the trailers for them and they were SO excited about it.

Getting there...

So, not to tattle on my own son (there is a bigger message here that will be worth the embarrassment for both of us)...but when it came down to the big day he almost missed the experience completely!  Our boys still take a pretty long afternoon nap and Ronan, like his mamma, can take a little while to fully come to after sleeping.  On the big day the movie was going to play just 30 minutes after their usual wake up time so it was imperative that they get up and head straight out the door with Grandma Tovar and their Daddies.  On this particular afternoon they awoke just in time, came stumbling out with smiles wondering what the afternoon might hold.  In response to the question 'do you want to go watch a movie?' both boys immediately lit up with excitement.  As we proceed to explain would be a special adventure with Daddies and Grandma Tovar to GO watch a movie...Eli is getting the picture: 'what could be better than an adventure and a movie? Planes? Let's go'.  But Ro is confused: 'You just asked me if I wanted to watch.  And watch = climb in mommy and daddy's bed for one of my 4 favorite movies that I watch over and over (and over).  What could I possibly need shoes for right now, and why should I change my diaper and get ready to leave?!'  And so the melt down began...not understanding the awesomeness of what would occur out of the house that day, and having no desire to cooperate with something new...Ro protested and screamed and cried through getting ready, barely made it downstairs, and could still be heard in the house from Grandma's lap once inside the car (usually one if his favorite places to be!).  Usually everything about getting to go on an adventure is a thrill, but today there were spankings and disciple and he came very near to being left home completely because he simply could not calm down or obey. He could see nothing beyond the fact that somehow his expectation to 'watch' had been altered and now he was being dragged off in a different direction.  Thankfully, his father had enough patience for both of them to make it through to what was in store.

So worth it...

Ro's tears apparently subsided shortly after the car pulled away.  Once they left something must have snapped him out of his spell and he began to realize that he was not in fact being tortured.  That there was actually something very exciting in store for him, something more exciting that sitting at home and watching the same old movie for the 30th time.  He was on a new Adventure and this was gonna be the biggest, best movie he had ever seen.  Yahaira and I didn't go along for this one so the stories are second hand (I believe there are some pics Yahiara will share soon in another post) but apparently the boys could not have been more thrilled by the experience.  Eli was spellbound and Ronan apparently sat on the edge of Grandma's lap with both hands in the air yelling planes out of sheer excitement for the first full 5 minutes.  Thankfully, Ro eventually calmed to spellbound as well and neither were deterred or distracted for a single minute of the show (this is a big deal for my energetic).  Both John and Eli enjoy watching through the credits for their movies and Grandma said that Ro stayed fascinated all the way through as well...asking 'where it go?' as the giant letters seemed to disapear somewhere into the ceiling high above.   They loved it, totally worth the change, totally worth trying something new, one of their best adventures yet!

The aftermath...

The 5 enjoyed a quick bite of dinner at the food court.  Salchi Papas (the great Peruvian junk food of french fries topped with hotdogs and condiments) were a special treat on top of an already special day and would get them fed to be home in time for bed.  They all came pouring into the house...wound up with excitement and laughter and stories from their adventure.  What an exciting afternoon!  I went downstairs to have a quick bite while they guys started their bed time bath as usual.  Unfortunately, it wasn't long before things turned south again.  Ronan, overflowing by that point with excitement and stimulation and who knows what else...had not desire to slow down for his evening bath.  I'm not sure what it was he thought he should be doing , but getting ready for bath and bed was certainly not it...and so the fighting and crying ensued, followed by discipline, and a loud protestant but eventual surrender to a very sad bath time (usually one of his favorite events).

The lesson...

As I sat down stairs listening to Ro get worked up yet again, my heart broke.  Why?  Why would he ruin such a wonderful evening throwing another fit?  Why would he protest so loudly to participate the wonderful plans we had for him?  Couldn't he see we loved him and had amazing things in store for him?  And then it hit me...I know exactly (swallow hard) where he gets that: the terrible fight to resist a change in expectations...an unwillingness to see beyond what you were thinking or wanting and realize there might be something better than you were thinking, better than any plans you had contrived or any outcome you had imagined.  Ug, it is just like me!  I am the worst at getting an idea or plan in my head and simply not being able to let it go, that is not without a considerable fight.  I wrestle, I debate, quite honestly I often want a rational explanation or even proof for why an alternate scenario will be better than what I had in mind.   Some of it is just the way my mind works, I enjoy a healthy discussion or even debate...and I welcome other's opinions and rational as a part of the process of 'making a plan'.  But once that plan is set (in my mind at least), I can have a terrible attitude being redirected to something different.  How many times do I lash out at my husband for his spontaneous nature, desire to just make (or change) things up along the way...immediately questioning and defensive (or even offensive) as to weather he's thought through all the factors and ramifications.  Worse yet, how often do I 'kick', 'scream', and throw my version of an adult spiritual 'fit' with the Lord when he tries to redirect me.  He might give me a small peice of the puzzle...a hint as to what He has in store, or what He is calling us to...and I get carried away with my own plans and process for how it should come about.  I fill in all the blanks along the way and then wrestle with Him when He throws a curve in my plan...when His process and purpose for the path I should take is a different than what I had assumed.  I hate being made to change my expectations, it is painful and I often resist.  And yet, my heavenly Father always know's what is best.  He always has amazing things in store for me...and whether it is the details in the process or even the end result that are different that what I first thought...it is ALWAYS better than what I would have come up with my own.  The same is often true of Community.  Living with others, being willing to change our expectations, to understand or respect another's perspective, and be flexible enough to bend or find balance with other's can be hard, it can be uncomfortable.  But so often the net result, and the life you share together is so much better, so much richer, so much more balanced and even enjoyable walked out together.

The prayer...

And so my prayers are as such.  God, help me be more moldable!   Help me to be kind and gracious when my expectations need redirecting.  Help me to see you have what's best for me in mind.  Help me to remember you've placed others in my life to challenge me, to encourage me, and help make me more like who you desire me to be.  Give us wisdom on how to raise a strong-willed child.  That he would know our love for him, respect our disciple, and trust our direction in his life.  More than that, that he would know how much You love him, the good things you have in store for him, and learn to love and trust you.

To my friends and family, hope you enjoyed this bit of fun and honestly.  Thank you all for your prayers, for your encouragement, and for the roles you play in making me who I am meant to be!