The Unforeseen Scar

Four hours before the year ends, doing what I love - cooking for friends , I cut myself. Badly. Deeply. I had the drawer of the kitchen propped open and as hard as I could manage I ran my leg across the sharpest handles I have ever seen. Seriously, who puts knife like handles on a drawer??? Rental problems. My husband gently, kindly and empathetically cleans my wound, bandages me up and I move on. When John and Jenn arrive I show the wound to John to make sure I don’t need stitches. Its deep folks, really deep and I don’t like to come across as a baby but it hurt. Actually, I HATE talking about things that hurt me, especially physically, but hang tight I have a point bigger than the whining rant it appears I am going on. John looks at the cut and says I probably don’t need stitches but I better find a butterfly band-aid or else I will have a scar. A SCAR. I don’t want a scar! Virgil doesn’t want me to have a scar, if I don’t, so we run upstairs to find a band-aid. No butterflies. Scarred. Forever I’ll be scarred by those dumb handles. Dumb knife like handles.

Today I realize how grateful I am for that cut and the scar I will have. Okay, I realize I sound like a bi-polar maniac but it's true. Wait, not that I’m a bi-polar maniac (in my opinion, in which others may argue), but the first part…the grateful part. That scar will remind of that last night and more so, of 2015. 2015 was a rough, but, beautiful year and it ended with beautiful people laughing, eating, dancing and  sharing in our wonderful, unfurnished home.

One of the great views from our apartment

Liam and Sofi playing on a floating
island...Puno, Peru

The boys heading out to the
floating islands Puno, Peru

2015…It was a year where we moved into that home on more faith than I can even express. It was a year that we welcomed a beautiful addition to the family, Kira Elizabeth Tovar. It was a year my youngest son learned how to speak, in TWO language (maybe 3 languages if you include the jibberish he blurts out).  It was a year that my oldest son started school and is succeeding.  It was a year my husband and I learned to communicate better. It was a year where we closed one business and opened another. It was a year that we struggled in business, a lot…except for that one month…That was a good month! It was a year where we learned how to make awesome ribs and brisket. It was a year we got our first Pork & Bean shirt (coming in 2016). It was the year my oldest son asked Jesus into his heart. Jesus. In his heart. Spectacular!!

I have a scar that remind me of all the junk we went through and all the awesomeness that made me who I am. Not one detail would I change. Not one.

Now we face 2016. For so many reasons I want it to be different. I don’t want to re-live some of that junk and I want the awesomeness to continue. I mean, let’s be honest, who doesn’t feel that way? I know I’m not alone and if I am, that’s fine. I stand alone. Well, alone in person but never alone entirely because I have Jesus. Jesus.

Please keep the Ruvars (Ruiz’s and Tovar’s) in your prayers this year. Seriously. I don’t ask for anything more than that. It’s a make or break year for us and I’ll be honest we NEED to start making. Desperately. But we have Jesus. Jesus. And we have no doubts, regrets, fears or worries about this year. We have Jesus. Jesus. Whatever comes out of 2016 we face it head on. Praying, trusting and looking forward it all.

2016 the year I blog again. The year of more bacon. The year we make more fresh roasted coffee. The year we love our kids more. Smile more. Share more love. The year I, we, grow no matter what. 

-Yahaira